Psssst. I was on TV last week. We’ll get to the pants part later.

I know I didn’t tell you guys, but y’all know I had to preview the segment before it was broadcast it to the world. I mean, for the second time. You know, ’cause it already got broadcast to the world the first time without my pre-approval. I’m still working on getting that bit into my contract.

And by contract, I mean there is no contract.

Anyway… Can you tell I’m tired?

If you are a blogger, a backyard chicken enthusiast, and a professional make funner of stuff (or all three), every once in a while you might get asked to appear on television.

And if you are like me, you will probably start panicking about what to wear oh…. about three years before you actually get approached for said television appearance.

Don’t worry — the rules for dressing for a television appearance are a lot like dressing for headshots, which I wrote about a little while ago. Here they are in a nutshell:

— No prints.

— No white.

— No black.

— No pastels.

— Bold colors that are bright, but not too bright because TV makes everything looks amplified. Including your rear end, unfortunately.

— Nothing sleeveless.

— No crazy necklines or seams.

— No crazy jewelry or anything super shiny or sparkly.

— Lots of makeup (as demonstrated in the holiday makeup vlog I did last year).

— Simple, pretty hair (as demonstrated in the beachy waves vlog I did last year).

Also, if you go on TV via Skype or want to do a vlog, make sure you have a lot of natural light and bright lights on your face (I literally had three big lights pointing right at my face), place the computer/camera at or just above eye level, and make sure whatever is behind you looks good.

Or even better, don’t have anything behind you at all.

Here’s a clip of me on Fox 44 discussing’s top picks for Black Friday apps. And yes, Black Friday is long gone (thank goodness) but that doesn’t mean you still can’t save money on your holiday shopping (or just have a good laugh at my expense).

PS: Here is what I wore

— A teal poly blouse I got last year for really cheap at Francesca’s. 

— A plastic gold necklace I got at a thrift store for $2.

— Pants: PJs.

That’s right. The best part about doing a television appearance via Skype is that you don’t have to wear pants. I mean, real pants. And this is probably a good time to address the fact that PJ bottoms aren’t real pants. You know who you are.

Finally, I have had some Facebook comments mentioning how nice my hair looks and here’s what I have to say about that:

I guess when you go a year without cutting your hair, over three years without coloring it and six months without using shampoo, when you finally do get a good cut and color (thanks, Jenny!), take a little ‘poo to it and then blow it dry, people will notice the difference. Interesting.

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