Dr. Mom has been talking a lot about how we can all keep the romance alive in our relationships, and I have to say that you have all had really great responses to her advice. BUT….. It takes two to tango and I’ve been thinking that the other half needs to put in their share of the work too!
So, this week’s Dr. Mom is for the men in our lives. Maybe you’ll forward it right to him, or perhaps the two of you will read this together. Heck, you might even want to print it out and staple it to his pillow. Whatever works!
PS: Read all the way to the bottom of the post because I have a very special giveaway for you. It’s something you might want to share with your man, or…… You might want to keep it just for yourself. *wink, wink*
You can email your Dr. Mom Mondays relationship/parenting questions to morgan(at)thelittlehenhouse(dot)com.
Enough about wives keeping the fire alive – how about what HUSBANDS can do?
It is classic really – article after article giving women advice about how to spice things up when they go stale. Granted, women are the usual stewards of all relationships, but aren’t the men responsible to take some part as well? Read on, men, to see what you can do to reap big rewards in the relationship department.
First, consider the Three A’s: Attention, Affection, Appreciation – what most women personally want from their men. The old adage “Foreplay for women starts in the morning” is true – and the Three A’s tell a man what that foreplay is all about.
Give your woman a hug and kiss when you part in the morning and again when you meet up in the evening, look her in the eyes when she is talking, ask about her day, remember and inquire about things going on in her life, cuddle with her on the couch and in bed (and I mean CUDDLE, not grope), thank her for every single meal she ever makes for you, praise her OFTEN for all she does to manage the home and children, tell her how nice she looks, remind her how much you admire her as a person……..in general be a good and loving friend.
These habits take only seconds – so do what it takes to make them stick.
The next big ticket is HELPING. Women are the managers of the household, a huge job. Even without work outside of the home, this job can be overwhelming. When a man pitches in to help, especially without being asked, he gets big points as a good partner.
Often the help can be quick and simple – clear the table, bathe or read a book to a child, fill the car up with gas, call to offer to pick up something needed on the way home, do a quick pick up of toys in the family room, fold some laundry.
Men who do something to help every morning and evening, even just one thing, get gold stars from women.
Finally, surprise your partner with some traditional romance every once in awhile. Bring home flowers, light some candles in the bedroom, fill the bathtub with bath salts, send her a card in the mail, put a surprise note in her car or on her mirror or pillow, bring home her favorite perfume. She will think you are amazing.
Most of these things take only seconds or at most minutes a day – and if you make them habits, you will be the man that a woman brags about, the kind of partner every women wishes for. That is priceless – as well as certain to stoke up the fire for some special sexual encounters between the two of you.
Mary Quinn has a Ph.D. in Therapeutic Psychology and is Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in San Diego. She is also a wife of 31 years, a mother of three, a step-mother of two, a grandmother of seven, a passionate gardener, and a writer. She survived a childhood as the only girl with five brothers, and always wears red toenail polish.
Thanks Dr. Mom!
Now for the giveaway:
To help us all keep the romance alive in our relationships, I am giving away a $25 gift card to Eden Fantasys! They are known for their wide range of “marital aids” (that’s old school for sex toys), but they also have a great selection of lingerie, lotions, candles, gag gifts, games, and videos. So if toys aren’t your thing, then go ahead and treat yourself to some yummy bath stuff or something. Whatever floats your boat!
How to enter: Leave a comment below. That’s it!
*****If you want to maintain your privacy, then please email me at morgan(at)thelittlehenhouse(dot)com. I will add your entry offline before I pick the winner.
The giveaway ends Friday, September 30th, 2011 at 10pm PST. One winner will be selected via random.org.
You can also shop the Eden Fantasys site right now and get 15% off your entire order. Enter the code “U21″ at the checkout to receive your discount. That’s my affiliate code and just so you know, your shopping will ultimately help me keep the romance alive here at The Little Hen House too!
Good luck everyone!