My hair is falling out. 

Sometimes I get sprayed by chickens.

One time my kid pooped on the floor. 

I accidentally dropped Emma off at school looking like this. 

And now?

I have….

Wait for it…..

SHINGLES. 

Check it out:

I know, it’s the stuff wet dreams are made of.

Because laughing is always better than crying, I’m going to look on the bright side of things.

When I first noticed the shingles popping up on my right shoulder, my first thought was that a spider must have laid eggs under my skin.

And this is why I am no longer allowed to watch “Monsters Inside Me“.

So, when my dermatologist diagnosed my little welts as the first stages of shingles, you can only imagine the relief that surged through my body.

And while I may look like this on the outside:

Apparently, I’m more like this on the inside:

I’m prescribing myself a heavy dose of napping, pinot grigio, and weekly manicures and pedicures. Because, obviously, that is the only cure.

What’s ailing you these days?