Here is my most recent post for The Baby Gizmo Company. It is featured on the Baby Gizmo website and their blog “Rated by Mom.”
It’s time for my favorite post of the year: The Baby Gizmo Annual Survey of Ridiculous Baby Products!
You know how much we love baby gear and the more innovative and practical the better. In our search for the best baby gear on the planet, we’ve come across a few things that have made us go, “Huh?!?!” These might not be the most brilliant inventions, but they will certainly get a good laugh.
The Zaky Pillow has made the list again, as it is undeniably one of the creepier baby products on the market. I cannot imagine how startling it would be to check on your sleeping baby only to discover a giant pair of disembodied muppet hands cradling him or her.
This is, and I quote, “for the girl who has everything except hair.” If the baby girl you are shopping for truly has so much that you need to stoop as low as buying a wig for her, might I suggest making a charitable contribution in her name to a children’s organization instead? Just sayin’.
Not even putting puppy ears on this contraption is going to make it cute. Nice try though. Also, way to capitalize on the natural fear and apprehension every parent feels when their baby becomes mobile. Note: There are specialized helmets made for children with actual medical conditions. This is marketed towards average children.
In case the picture doesn’t explain it for you, the parent is supposed to suck the snot from their baby’s nose via a small plastic tube. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Without running the risk of being offensive, I’m just going to say this: The “Daddle” looks more like something that belongs in the closet and is only brought out once the children have gone to bed. Nuff said.
No infant’s wardrobe is complete until she has the perfect pair of heels. You can add these to her collection of baby Spanx, baby miniskirts, and baby push up bras. I just hope they come with a pair of baby orthotics too.
This is the perfect item for the future little germaphobe. Forget the customary post-potty hand washing. Potty mitts take sanitary bathroom habits to the next level.
This handy tracking device removes the inconvenience of having to actually watch your children. Outings to the park just got a lot more fun- for you! Now, where did I put that People Magazine?
Pacifier Thermometer and Medicine Dispenser
Good luck getting your screaming infant to suck on this long enough to get an accurate temperature read. Oh, and you can forget about tricking them into sucking the medicine out of it too.
Really? Is it that hard to change a diaper?
No, your eyes aren’t fooling you. It’s a bottle. For pee pee. Please don’t buy this. The risk of confusing it for a water filled bottle is too great.
Listen, all mothers make certain fashion sacrifices in the name of comfort. We have to draw the line somewhere. This is inexcusable.
There are no words.
There’s a reason everyone talks about how good babies smell, and it isn’t because they are wearing perfume.
Breastfeeding Bra for Men
Nooooo! My eyes, my eyes! I’m all for hand-on dads, but this is taking things a little too far. Good thing it’s a joke. Gotcha!
Moms- what are some of the most ridiculous products that you’ve discovered?
46 comments
Someone bought my youngest the heels before we knew he was a boy. I thought they were hilarious!.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 2:28 am
Don't you mean "heelarious?"
[Reply]
Sherri Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 5:09 am
Ha!
[Reply]
Sherri Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 5:09 am
Ha!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 2:28 am
Don't you mean "heelarious?"
[Reply]
The baby snuggie is just disturbing. But the Daddle, oh girlfriend.
Have I told you lately how much I enjoy your writing? You do have the gift for humor.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 2:31 am
Guess what you're getting for your baby shower? Tell Adonis to get ready!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 2:31 am
Guess what you're getting for your baby shower? Tell Adonis to get ready!
[Reply]
the breastfeeding bra has me in stitches….and the high heels? OMG. I don't even know where to begin with that nasal aspirator. All I can think is—WHY?! LOL
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 2:29 am
Apparently the Nosefrida has some die-hard supporters. Maybe it works, but I will never know because I cannot mentally get over the sucking part. And now I feel sick all over again.
[Reply]
Kimberly Reply:
June 28th, 2012 at 9:24 am
I’ve actually read how great the Nosefrida works. I read one lady who analyzed it physically for a week in fear of using it. But finally tried it and loves it. Read that it works way better than a traditional bulb. Supposedly there is a filter and no risk of the snot getting to your mouth. Still weirds me out…
[Reply]
Kimberly Reply:
June 28th, 2012 at 9:24 am
I’ve actually read how great the Nosefrida works. I read one lady who analyzed it physically for a week in fear of using it. But finally tried it and loves it. Read that it works way better than a traditional bulb. Supposedly there is a filter and no risk of the snot getting to your mouth. Still weirds me out…
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 2:29 am
Apparently the Nosefrida has some die-hard supporters. Maybe it works, but I will never know because I cannot mentally get over the sucking part. And now I feel sick all over again.
[Reply]
Loved this!
The Baby Bangs is wrong!
I have been given the pacifier thermometer – lame.
The Bra – can you say "Meet the Falkers"?
I would love to put all of these into one gift basket, preferably for someone's second or more child so they can appreciate the humor. Hmm… is Mad Woman Behind the Blog having a baby shower…
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:35 am
I am in full support of getting Mad Woman any or all of these items.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:35 am
I am in full support of getting Mad Woman any or all of these items.
[Reply]
Ok, the potty seat gloves? I'd totally use because I'm a weirdo about using public washrooms and I am a germaphobe. I don't think that I'll ever be able to handle taking my child into a public restroom ever.
Know how many asses have graced those seats? Ack!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:36 am
See? It really is the perfect item for the future little germaphobe.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:36 am
See? It really is the perfect item for the future little germaphobe.
[Reply]
Oh my, the Daddle certainly is "special"
But the baby snuggie? That looks dope.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:36 am
A few people have said that. I cannot get behind it. Sorry.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:36 am
A few people have said that. I cannot get behind it. Sorry.
[Reply]
The baby bangs? I shudder. In horror. Ugh.
As weird as it sounds, I did like the baby hanger. Trying to use a public bathroom when you're wearing your baby can be…interesting. I don't think I'd trust it though.
As for the Daddle? It's totally on my list. Just to see Chad's face when he opens it. hehe
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:37 am
It would make the perfect Father's Day gift.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:37 am
It would make the perfect Father's Day gift.
[Reply]
Okay, I laughed until I literally cried. Not just that I laughed until tears came out of my eyes, I like crossed some emotional line and had a runny nose from laughing so hard that I cried. Awesome. Except:
We had that purple Thudgaurd, not because we were afraid she would hit her head while crawling or learning to walk. We bought a Burley Bike Trailor for me to pull her behind my bike on the school run. It has a steel frame and roll bar and manufacturer says you don't need a helmet with it. Funk that and she was too small for actual bike helmets. So, we used the purple Thudgaurd. And it's super cute… as a helmet. Not as a crazy paranoia accesory.
Two: I want that fleece with the baby hole. I almost bought one, but Hudson was already getting big enough that it would have been a waste of money when I saw it. Totally want one though, to wear under my winter coat for the school run, because when I'm wearing the baby my coat won't close and then we both freeze. Walk four miles a day in the freezing cold and tell me how acceptable that thing looks, Mrs. San Diego!
I just wore a huge oversized fleece instead, which isn't any cuter and way more awkward…. aaaaaand, I just wrote a novel. Done.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:39 am
Your Thudguard was purple? You don't say.
While doing extensive research on the most ridiculous baby products on the market, I did come across a few baby snuggies that were halfway decent. The one I have up there: not ok.
So glad I made you laugh! That's what I wanted to hear!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:39 am
Your Thudguard was purple? You don't say.
While doing extensive research on the most ridiculous baby products on the market, I did come across a few baby snuggies that were halfway decent. The one I have up there: not ok.
So glad I made you laugh! That's what I wanted to hear!
[Reply]
This is the oddest collection of strange baby-stuff I've ever imagined…seriously! I can't decide whether it's worse to suck snot up with that crazy-straw thing or cradle your infant with Shrek's hands.
Thank goodness my kids are older now…..
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:41 am
I saw a few things for older kids while researching. I might have to make a part 2. And 3. Stay tuned….
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:41 am
I saw a few things for older kids while researching. I might have to make a part 2. And 3. Stay tuned….
[Reply]
How easy would life be if you really could (without a visit from CPS) just hang your baby off a door? But that Snuggie freaks me the heck out every time.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:42 am
I kind of wish I could put my toddler in it. Just for a little bit.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 6:42 am
I kind of wish I could put my toddler in it. Just for a little bit.
[Reply]
I'm going to fess up to not only owning but LOVING the NoseFrida. It is the most disgusting thing ever when you're just looking at it, but I swear it works a million billion times better than a regular aspirator(and no snot gets anywhere near your mouth. It's kind of magic that way. Or science, whatever same difference).
But I will fully admit I completely understand the ridicule. I was right there with you until I saw the stupid thing in action.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 10:40 am
I might have to eat crow and try that one out. There are a lot of you Nosefrida supporters out there. Who knew?
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 10:40 am
I might have to eat crow and try that one out. There are a lot of you Nosefrida supporters out there. Who knew?
[Reply]
As I scrolled through this truly amazing list of products, I kept thinking "THIS is the funniest one. No. No. THIS ONE is the funniest."
Oh my.
So much goodness is one post. Thudgard is the funniest name. The Nosefrida is the grosses thing I've ever seen. Ever. And I know that I've used too many "est's" for one comment, but seriously?
I almost want to have another baby just to order that crap and laugh and laugh and laugh.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 10:39 am
Whomever invites me to the next baby shower is SO going to regret it. lol!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 10:39 am
Whomever invites me to the next baby shower is SO going to regret it. lol!
[Reply]
Those are hysterical, though when I saw the baby changing straightjacket thingy, my first thought was "Genius". My son is IMPOSSIBLE to change. He's stronger then me. It's embarrassing.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 10:38 am
May I suggest a set of free weights in lieu of the baby straight jacket?
There are times I have needed that contraption too.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 10:38 am
May I suggest a set of free weights in lieu of the baby straight jacket?
There are times I have needed that contraption too.
[Reply]
Wow I never knew the baby market had some many weird inventions. The Zaky pillow is beyond creepy. The nosefrida is disgusting and the baby bangs? Really is their some beauty contest for babies now? Babies you have plenty of time to wear wigs like joan rivers.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:06 am
Putting a wig on a baby is just mean.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:06 am
Putting a wig on a baby is just mean.
[Reply]
i'm not a forwarder… but if this was an email, i would totally forward. LOVE. thank you for making my night.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:05 am
Feel free to forward the link my friend.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:05 am
Feel free to forward the link my friend.
[Reply]
OMG. There is so much wrong about the items in this post. SO much.
Creepy stuff and stuff that leaves me speechless.
But..I will say that I recently reviwed a product similar to the toddler tracker and I think it's a great idea for places like amusement parks where it gets soo busy and easy to lose children!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:05 am
I actually lost Emma for about 15 minutes at Legoland once and it was awful. It was the day before Christmas and the place was insane. We left as soon as I found her. Ug.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:05 am
I actually lost Emma for about 15 minutes at Legoland once and it was awful. It was the day before Christmas and the place was insane. We left as soon as I found her. Ug.
[Reply]
Well, I'd rather have the PeePee bottle in the car than have my kids use my Starbucks cup. While I'm getting gas. And not tell me when I get back in the car. THat may or may not have happened. Recently.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:04 am
Sounds kind of like when someone's husband used a water bottle for pee pee and then left it in his trunk for six months. But I wouldn't know about that either.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:04 am
Sounds kind of like when someone's husband used a water bottle for pee pee and then left it in his trunk for six months. But I wouldn't know about that either.
[Reply]
The baby snuggie is hilarious – I think if I saw someone with that on in public I'd die laughing!
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:03 am
It's like a floating alien head is coming out of her body. Plus, I do not know of a single baby who would tolerate that contraption.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:03 am
It's like a floating alien head is coming out of her body. Plus, I do not know of a single baby who would tolerate that contraption.
[Reply]
Wow, I'm vacillating between laughing and trying not to puke because of that nasal aspirator. Hilarious post!
Although that baby straight jacket thing is kind of tempting since my guy tries to scratch and hit is way through most changings. But I'm sure he'd just use his legs instead.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:02 am
Those babies are so crafty. I know mine would find a way to bust out of it in two seconds.
[Reply]
The Little Hen House Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:02 am
Those babies are so crafty. I know mine would find a way to bust out of it in two seconds.
[Reply]
Not gonna lie. Those potty mitts. I'd totally buy them. But that creepy ass hand pillow thing. That is SCARY
[Reply]
"no words" is right. but, you did an excellent job of describing the pure absurdity of those products. Sweet Jesus, people actually use some of those products?
[Reply]
[...]
A Survey of the Most Ridiculous Baby Products | The Little Hen House [...]
[Reply]
The baby use so many baby products like baby oil,power,towel,toys and so many things are available in market. There are also so many companies product this type things for the baby.
[Reply]
There are so many type of baby products are available in the market for the baby use. For the baby used things all are made with different materials with different type, as per the requirement people purchase and use for the baby.
[Reply]
Trackbacks
By submitting a comment you grant The Little Hen House a perpetual license to reproduce your words and name/web site in attribution. Inappropriate and irrelevant comments will be removed at an admin’s discretion. Your email is used for verification purposes only, it will never be shared.